Honest Thoughts and Prayers

May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships - so that we may life deep within our hearts.

 May God bless us with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people - so that we may work for justice, freedom, and peace. 

May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war - so that we may reach out our hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. 

And may God bless us with enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in the world - so that we can do what others claim cannot be done, to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen (Franciscan Benediction) 

Found this benediction on another blog and it really spoke to me in my crazy life here in Romania. I often find encouragement, challenges and good laughs on their blog. You can check them out here: Livesay! 

So often we ask for blessings of comfort and peace. BUT, so many times the true blessings in life come from pain, confusion, brokenness and suffering. I cannot recall a testimony that shouts of growth during times of ease and plenty. Why not start praying for discomfort, for anger, tears, empathy, and what the world would call foolishness for our Lord? Why not pray that we would lose our earthly comfort, pride and selfishness? Why not pray for God's will and not our earthly desires? Even Jesus said He didn't come to bring peace...

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law-- a man's enemies will be the members of his own household. Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves thier son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:34-39)

God desires our honesty. There are often times that I pray: 

God I want to understand... but honestly, I'm scared to know and understand, because it might be more than I can handle. 

God I want you to humble me....but I'm scared, because I use pride as a shield. 

God, I want to lay down my selfish desires...but, I'm scared of the pain and discomfort that comes from killing my fleshly desires. 

So, I pray for God to prepare my heart. I ask Him to lead me to a place where I can pray with honesty for such growth. I'm still being molded by my Savior. I'm still learning to lay down myself and take up my cross and follow my Savior daily. God knows my honest heart. He knows my struggles and yet, somehow, He loves me still.