New Bible Blues (first world problems!)

While I was in the States there was one thing that I kept jotting down on my to-do lists:

"Get a new Bible!"

Ohh, but I dreaded that task.

The Bible I'd been toting around the world was really beyond it's physical limits of sustenance. Three years of Bible college, being crammed between textbooks. I'd been throwing it into purses with my wallet, sunglasses and inhaler for years. Cramming it into my backpack for hiking adventures (because there's nothing better than sunrise Bible time with Jesus in a hammock!) I was thinking back and I believe I've had that Bible for around 7 years... maybe a little longer. It's been on hiking trips in Alaska, Colorado, & Romania. I've lugged it to at least 16 states and 6 countries. That Bible has been sprawled on countless coffee shop tables, airplane seat-back trays, couches, dining room tables, picnic tables, quilts and under shady trees.

This Bible has gone through its fair share of mishaps as well. I've spilled coffee on it a few times. It's been smashed, dropped, squished, torn and stained. It's been duct taped & book taped together multiple times. The leather cover is practically crumbling. There used to be a magnet that held it closed; that magnet is long since lost (I guess duct tape doesn't fix everything.)

To think beyond the physical. I've poured over that Bible during numerous college projects and papers. I've followed along during sermons, lectures, training, and Bible studies. I've memorized verses from the pages. Studied to lead, share or preach from those tiny typed words. Writing notes, underlining and sticky noting were common practices. Those words have challenged, encouraged,, confused, motivated, taught, provoked and blessed me. I've found love, truth and peace on these pages. Most of all, I've been drawn closer to my Lord spending time between the worn covers of this Book.

I'd really grown quite fond of this little Book. However, sometime in last last year I was challenged to go ahead and get a new Bible so that I could read God's Word afresh, without the notes and markings I had added. Sometimes those underlined verses stand out so much that I don't notice the other verses on the page.

I knew I needed to let go of the physical attachment that had grown within me and open the pages of a new book. A new book, though new in cover, crisp pages and free of duct tape, sharing the same life-giving words of my dear Book.

I took a couple trips to the bookstore. Once I almost got in line to purchase a new Bible. Spent a few hours searching online. I still didn't have a new Bible. I was quickly running out of time State-side. On my last trip to a bigger city (you know, one that has a book store) I forced myself into the bookstore and told myself I couldn't leave until I found a new Bible. I pulled Bible after Bible out of those little, white, cardboard boxes. I ran my fingers over the covers, flipped through the pages, weighed them in my hands, imagined dropping them into my favorite purses. I bounced between the NIV and ESV sections. I would pull one out and think I'd decided and then suddenly have a change-of-heart and put it back on the shelf. None of them felt right, because none of them were "My Book." My poor little brother was wandering around the store waiting on my to make up my mind. I kept telling myself: "This is important. You need to look at the Bible through fresh eyes. It will be good to have a new Bible." I wasn't very convincing. However, eventually I settled on a new Bible. It's bigger than my old one. It's not as soft and still smells new.

I couldn't bring myself to leave my old Book at home. I brought both Bibles back to Romania with me. I have been forcing myself to use my new Bible though. I still don't like it as much, but I'm getting used to it. I have enjoyed the fresh white pages, though I'm already going at them with my colored pencils! The real test came when I taught Bible study from it the other day.

I'm sure this Bible will grow on me eventually. It won't always stay this perfect, this clean or this whole. What's really important is the message inside and that message is the same as my Book. The Truth of this Book is what I cling to, what I run to each morning.