a day in the life...

I had the opportunity to visit an orphanage today. I had never been to this place. It was a family style orphanage; so, it sort-of just felt like we were in a house (that had a lot of young kids.) The friends I went with visit these kids weekly and, let me tell you, the kids LOVE it! There were plenty of smiles, hugs and laughs during our time there.














My friends had a little "program" planned. First, we introduced ourselves (since I was new) and told the best gift we'd ever received. Some of the kids had simple answers like a barbie. Most of them, however, had deeper answers. Loradona said the best gift was her mom (house mom at the orphanage). Andrea said it was when her birth mom came to visit her. Adi, who is only six years old, said the best gift was coming to live at this orphanage. Then Albert told the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors. However, the kids were so caught up in the story and hungry for more, that he ended up continuing the story much further.

Then Pat shared the story of The Boy that Cried Wolf. He had the kids help him act out the story. So, this version turned out to be the Adi that cried wolf. Adi was quite the impromptu actor!

Joy had some crafts planned for the kids that included drawing spring flowers with crayons and then water-color painting over the waxy crayon pictures. The kids had a blast with the water-colors; they didn't want to stop.

Eunice was a great help in keeping the littlest, Radu, busy while the bigger kids did the craft. I got to hold a cuddly, somewhat sleepy, Radu during the story time. Nothing better than story time with a little one in your lap! Then during the craft time I was able to assist Alexandra. She is at the stage of wanting a little help to make a really beautiful picture, and yet wanting to be independent and do it herself. I realized with helping the kids that my Romanian has definitely improved. I was able to help instruct them with how to best use the water-colors and talk about their pictures with a much larger vocabulary than the last time I did an activity like this with kids.

On the drive home Pat & Joy shared with me the background of three of the kids. They are biological siblings and they have two older siblings who they are now separated from. Their story was heartbreaking to hear, and I only heard a fraction of what they went through. I can't imagine these precious little children living on the streets and suffering from the cold to the point of frost-bite. It's beautiful to see them receiving the love and care they need. Yet, those scars will always remain.

I look forward to going back and visiting these precious little children. Spending time with these children enlarged my understanding of the heart of God. God's love is perfect in every circumstance. Yet, we know from Scripture that caring for the orphans is near the heart of God. His desire for His people to love and care for the needs of those the world often forgets. 

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: 

to look after orphans and widows in their distress 

and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." 

James 1:27  

Honest Thoughts and Prayers

May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships - so that we may life deep within our hearts.

 May God bless us with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people - so that we may work for justice, freedom, and peace. 

May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war - so that we may reach out our hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. 

And may God bless us with enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in the world - so that we can do what others claim cannot be done, to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen (Franciscan Benediction) 

Found this benediction on another blog and it really spoke to me in my crazy life here in Romania. I often find encouragement, challenges and good laughs on their blog. You can check them out here: Livesay! 

So often we ask for blessings of comfort and peace. BUT, so many times the true blessings in life come from pain, confusion, brokenness and suffering. I cannot recall a testimony that shouts of growth during times of ease and plenty. Why not start praying for discomfort, for anger, tears, empathy, and what the world would call foolishness for our Lord? Why not pray that we would lose our earthly comfort, pride and selfishness? Why not pray for God's will and not our earthly desires? Even Jesus said He didn't come to bring peace...

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law-- a man's enemies will be the members of his own household. Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves thier son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:34-39)

God desires our honesty. There are often times that I pray: 

God I want to understand... but honestly, I'm scared to know and understand, because it might be more than I can handle. 

God I want you to humble me....but I'm scared, because I use pride as a shield. 

God, I want to lay down my selfish desires...but, I'm scared of the pain and discomfort that comes from killing my fleshly desires. 

So, I pray for God to prepare my heart. I ask Him to lead me to a place where I can pray with honesty for such growth. I'm still being molded by my Savior. I'm still learning to lay down myself and take up my cross and follow my Savior daily. God knows my honest heart. He knows my struggles and yet, somehow, He loves me still. 

Wants, Needs, REALITY

How many times a day to do you WANT things?

You want to take a shower, so you go to the bathroom. You want to eat breakfast, so you open the refrigerator. You want to make money, so you go to work. You want to sleep in a warm bed, so you turn up the thermostat or pile on another blanket. You want to call your mom, so you pick up your cell. You want to go shopping, so you head to the mall. You want a good coffee, so you drive to Starbucks.

In reality, most of you reading this probably have everything you need and MANY things that you want, and you have them right at hand when you want or need them.

What if you didn't have these wants? 

What if you didn't even have the needs? 

What if you had: no bathroom, no food, no money, no job, no bed, no blankets, no mom, no education and no way out?

This is reality for some people. It is often so far from our reality that we aren't sure how to comprehend it. However, being here in Romania and working with girls who grew up in the orphanages, THIS IS REALITY. I have met them, I know their names. This is the reality many of these kids face when they "age-out" of the orphanage. They are suddenly thrust into the world with NOTHING!

As I type there are FIVE girls who would like to come live at the foundation where I currently live. Yet, our beds are full. We do not have room for any more girls. It is a terrible feeling to turn away these girls who have such great needs.

Two of them are currently living on the streets! This often means walking around all night just to stay warm and fearing sleep because there is nowhere safe to relax. This means scrounging for food just to stay alive. This means being dirty, hungry and desperate. These girls do not have the mans to help themselves out of their situation. They MUST have help or they will soon find themselves in even worse situations such as human trafficking. Girls who age out of the orphanages are easy targets for traffickers. No one will miss them if they disappear. They are desperate for help and are easily deceived.

I also have a friend here who is eager to start renting an apartment and create a home for these girls as an extension of Romanian Orphan Ministries (the foundation where I currently live and volunteer). God has given her a GREAT love for these girls from the orphanages. He is using her, and her story to touch these girls' lives and help point them to Christ. She has a vision and a desire to meet the needs of these orphans. I believe in what God has placed on her heart. HOWEVER, she cannot do this alone.

If this stirs you at all and you would like to help give these girls a home click here to donate and help get this home started! Please don't think your gift has to be large, even if you just skip Starbucks once and give $5 that would be a blessing!

Moldable

So, as you can see I gave my blog a bit of a new look. I'm still playing around with it, but I think I like the direction it's heading. Let me know what you think!

Seems like God has been molding me just like I've been changing my blog into what I want it to be.

Through much of my life lately God is revealing the ways that He is shaping me.

Honestly, I don't always enjoy the process. There are times it is painful, frustrating and discouraging.

Then I remember why all this is happening. God has a plan for me, and He knows best how to get me ready. Like the loving Father He is, He seeks to prepare and teach me for what is ahead.

So, I'm trying to be moldable. I'm trying not to fight against my creator who is still creating within me.

I chose to surrender myself to Him and trust Him completely; sometimes, I need reminders of that surrender. It's really a daily choice to surrender and let Him shape me and lead me.

I'm just grateful that God carefully prepares us for each step in these lives we live. I don't have to try to figure it all out on my own. I know if I did, well, my life would be a mess!

So, I'm praying for His guidance as I seek to be moldable and surrendered. Resting in my Savior and trusting Him for what may come.

"Yet you, Lord, are our Father. 

We are the clay, you are the potter;

We are all the work of your hand." 

Isaiah 64:8

Freedom and Captivity

Sunday night I went to church with some friends. The sermon was about Luke 15 and the prodigal son. Of course that's a parable I've heard preached on countless times. I've heard SO many different angles on it that I at times start to doubt and wonder if Jesus had a more simple point. However, our God is incredibly intricate. Just thinking about the human body and how it works or even simply the eye screams of the intricacies of our God. So, I trust that the parables he told could be intricate as well.

So, here's the train of thought I was on...

This son thought he was leaving home to find greater freedom. I'm sure when he left home his spirits soared with this sense of freedom. The idea was appealing to head out into the great unknown with a pocket full of money. Soon, however, he found that this freedom was only a facade. He was a slave to his money and wild living. When his money ran out, he became a slave to pigs. 

He soon realized that he was more a slave APART from his father than he was living at home WITH his father. He realized that he had rejected blessings found in his father's home for his desires. When he realized this he returned, but ONLY when he realized his own depravity. As he longed for the slop he fed the pigs, he knew he in no way deserved to be welcomed back home as a son. That is why he had stayed away so long. He knew his mistake and now saw his foolishness for what it was. The freedom and love his father had for his sons was no longer what this son deserved. So, he decided to return home and beg to be accepted as a servant. 

This father, however, welcomed him with open arms. This father celebrated his son's escape from slavery with a feast. He was elated to have his son, in essence, back from the dead!

The older brother, who had always lived in the freedom and love of his father was angry. He had no remembrance of the captivity of sin. Somewhere along the way he had stopped appreciate the daily love, freedom, acceptance and blessing of his father. The older brother had become far-sighted and could no longer see what was right before him. He didn't want to celebrate his younger brother's redemption from sin. Instead, he chose to be bitter and ungrateful. 

This older brother reminds me of what I've been reading in Exodus. The Israelites left Egypt to find freedom, but soon they forgot the oppression they had faced there. They complained. They idolized. They disobeyed. After living in God's blessings and not recognizing their freedom, they began to fight against the laws of their Provider. They no longer recognized the freedom they had been given and eventually they became captives AGAIN! Throughout their history this cycle repeated always creating captivity and slavery.  

Have we, like the younger brother, left the Father and denied the gift of forgiveness from Christ, bought with his blood?

 For those who hardly remember life apart from Christ, like the older brother, have we lost sight of the freedom and blessings right before us?

Are we, like the Israelites, constantly forgetting the mighty miracles our God has done on our behalf and the slavery he freed us from? Are we running TOWARD captivity, blinded by our fleshly desires? 

Am I embracing the freedom of Christ? 

Am I seeing my life with far-sighted vision? 

Do I run from the captivity of sin? 

"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 

to proclaim freedom for the captives 

and release from darkness for the prisoners."

Isaiah 61:1b