Pendulum Swinging

Today I was forced (via my to-do list) to think back over the past year. It's been a wild ride. I was trying to summarize all that has gone on in an email and found it a little overwhelming. Then I started working on some photo books online that I want to finish before I go home. Well, that just brought so many things to the forefront of my mind.

A year ago I was frantically running around trying to finish all those little elusive tasks before I would fly across half the globe to my new home in Romania. My emotions swung like a pendulum between extreme excitement and extreme sadness, or maybe it was extreme nervousness to extreme assurance. Okay, honestly, it was all of those things.

Then, I arrived in Romania and began making my life here. I began learning a new language; wishing at times for a language fairy to visit me while I slept and somehow implant perfect Romanian abilities in my brain and mouth. I attempted to adapt to a new culture; often I failed miserably at this.  Finding myself screaming into my pillow or begging some friend to explain why in the world things where so confusing was not an uncommon scene.

Adjustment came, one baby-step or cliff dive at a time.

Language came, one tongue-twisting word, conjugated verb or gender altered adjective at a time.

Friendships came, one shared experience at a time.

Service came, one lap-plopping opportunity at a time.

Conflict came, one imperfect human dealing with imperfect me at a time.

Struggles came.
Joy came.
Fear came.
Triumph came.

Endings and new beginnings.
Confusion and clarity.
Laughter and tears.

Few things seemed constant. Few things being… ONE: my God.

God my Father, Jesus my Savior & the Holy Spirit my counselor… He never changes. He is faithful. He is constant. He is the reason I smile about the past year. He is the reason I rejoice in the struggles and joys alike.

I don't always understand why my God does what He does in the moment, but I trust Him. I trust Him to give and to take away. I trust Him to change my plans a thousand times. I trust Him even when my whole life feels like chaos. In my redeeming God I find my peace.

Tonight I was reminded of Job's words when he faced trials much larger than my own...

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." 

Job 1:21

"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed miracles that cannot be counted." 

Job 5:9

"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth." 

Job 19:25

"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding." 

Job 37:5

When things seem overwhelming I just reflect upon my redeemer, my Lord. He does not change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever! How grateful is my heart for this assurance. I'm so glad that even when I swing like a pendulum, I am anchored in a Lord who is steady, unmoving and sure. He patiently bids me to rest in Him, to lay aside my pendulum swaying tendencies and walk assured in His grace.